Leave a comment

New Nintendo 3DS and New Nintendo 3DS XL Coming Soon

As in not a new revision but this is literally a new game system, because Nintendo APPARENTLY DIDN’T LEARN THEIR BLOODY LESSON FROM THE WII U NAME FIASCO DESTROYING THEIR REVENUE FOR THE PAST YEAR AND A HALF!!!


The new Nintendo 3DS, named New Nintendo 3DS, is launching next month in Japan and sometime next year in America and Europe. This is what it looks like:


The new system has a screen size that is 1.2 times larger than the original 3DS (with the XL being bigger by some unknown number) and now features a second analog stick affectionately dubbed the C-Stick that can be used for things like camera controls and Smash Attacks.

In addition, there are now four shoulder buttons, as depicted below:


Why the PS Vita doesn’t have four shoulder buttons I’ll never know, but if the 3DS was slapping the Vita around in terms of sales before…

Oh, did I freaking mention that it takes micro sd cards instead of costing almost as much as the system does proprietary cards? I mean…I like the Vita and all but…it’s like Nintendo just walked up to Sony, pantsed it at the prom, back handed it and then stole its girlfriend…


The New 3DS has better graphics, and is considerably more powerful than the current offering. The graphics still don’t look anywhere near on par with the Vita, but, well, it’s getting freaking Xenoblade Chronicles ported to it so I’m pretty sure it might be just as powerful if not more-so, depending on how well the game plays.

You can expect three and a half to six hours of battery life, so, an hour more than you can presently get on your system. The XL model can go up to seven hours reportedly, though this will likely be with sound turned low, brightness medium to low, power saving on and no wifi. The system will have a faster CPU, thus allowing for Xenoblade Chronicles, and more viewing angles for better and less blurry 3D.

Your internet on your device that you already paid money for will be filtered, so, pony up dat cash if you want to use it to watch anything deemed teen and above. Because I don’t know why.


The New 3DS and New 3DS XL will have built in amiibo support as opposed to needing a peripheral like the older models will, so if you desperately need Nintendo Skylanders in your life (and if that becomes a real thing then yes, yes I do), there’s that. You’ll be able to transfer your system data from your old system to your new one, but not vice versa for obvious reasons. The system will be backwards compatible with all 3DS and DS titles, however for more obvious reasons exclusives such as Xenoblade Chronicles will not work on older systems.

Last but not least, the system will have more than thirty eight customizable design plates a la the Gameboy Advance Micro:

20140829_064624_thumb 20140829_065007_thumb 20140829_065041_thumb 20140829_065204_thumb 20140829_065217_thumb

Thankfully unlike the games and system, design plates (likely) cannot be region locked.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: