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Quit Hatin’ On Kamitani’s Steeze!

Hello planet Earth, I’m Xeawn, and I’m here with a humble request for all of you.

Quit it.

Quit.

Hatin’.

On.

Kamitani’s.

Steeze.

Seriously guys, this is getting a little out of hand. I just want to go on record and say George Kamitani is a legend. A bloody legend.

From Odin Sphere to Dragon’s Crown, Kamitani-sama is a game developer who has always been ahead of the curve. I understand that some people are off put by the artistic direction in Dragon’s Crown, however as Kamitani has always said, this was done as a caricature. I’d also like to direct your attention to a one Frank Frazetta, one of the greatest fantasy artists to ever set pen to paper:

1 frank-frazetta_00425173 frank-frazetta-death-dealer-02 frank_frazetta_darkkingdom

Also Boris Vallejo:

boris_vallejo_98nolatun th boris_vallejo_wingsofthenight JLMBorisValejo198807 th (1) Boris Vallejo 1996 - 06

 

These are the men who gave us Tarzan, Conan, Red Sonja and so on. The men were muscular, and the woman. The men were thick, and the women. The men were mostly naked, or naked, and, well you get the point.

George Kamitani’s artwork in Dragon’s Crown was done as a super exaggerated homage to the artists of old. Honestly, dang, I’m surprised that in this age of simplistic anime and digitized CG art that we still have people capable of drawing and painting like that. I was afraid that the age of exaggerated fantasy art had died with Frazetta and Vallejo.

“Well that’s just a male power fantasy and the men aren’t in anywhere near as many sensual poses as the–”

BAM!!!

frank_frazetta_theindianbrave

 

Dem glutes!

“Oh, well, only a man with the mentality of a child would ever draw women like–”

BAM AGAIN!

th (2) julie_bell_-70 th (3) th (4) julie_bell_-33 Julie Bell - Brinke of Destruction BY_BVnJBCal05wall1280_BellJulie_Epiphany th (5)

Oh, oh, I wonder, I wonder who drew and paitned those women? Who…who could it have been? Who made that buff beefcake at in the last picture? Oh, was it, was it maybe

THE VERY TALENTED MISS JULIE BELL! COME ON DOWN!

220px-JulieBell

 

 

Yeah, that’s Borris Vallejo’s wife. She’s pretty awesome.

Here’s the thing guys, I see a lot of problems here. Numero uno:

Why is everyone pissy about the Sorceress, but no one cares that the Amazon is even more naked? I mean, seriously, look at em’:

tVGG_3700

 

Versus:

th (6)

 

For real?

Can I just be mean for a second here? Like, really mean? Okay, I’ll be less mean than I’d like to be, but I’m just puttin’ this out there:

Everyone is pissy about the busty girl with the itty bitty waist, no one is pissy about the mostly naked girl who looks like she could snap you like a twig. There is a clear reason for this. You know it, I know it, but we’ll just leave it at that.

There’s also the elf:

Dragon-s-Crown-dragons-crown-22778778-720-800

Who serves as the game’s adorable little bundle of purity. Oh, I’m also curious why no one is pissy about the barbarian:

Dragons-crown-barbarian

Who is all sweaty and glistening and stuff. Like, seriously, in game he keeps breathing and flexing really hard and then I look down at my less than ripply chest and stomach and I’m all

“…Awww….”

And then you’re all

“THAT’S JUST A MALE POWER–”

SILENCE! Do I need to post more of Miss Bell’s art? Cuz I totally will. S’friggin beautiful.

Kamitani’s art is totally equal opportunity. The men are on a level of masculinity that I will likely never achieve, er, I mean, I WRESTLE BEARS FOR FUN!!!

And the women are exaggerated too. Honestly I find the amazon more attractive personally, but I’m not gonna say the sorceress isn’t cute too. What, does that surprise you coming from me? Well, she’s supposed to be cute. Just like in a totally hetero way I can say DANG DWARF YOU LOOKIN’ GOOD MANG!

"UH UH UH I WORK OUUUUT!!!"

“UH UH UH I WORK OUUUUT!!!”

 

Am I being way facetious? Yeah, yeah I am. Because it’s really bloody sad that I live in an era where a frigging legend like George Kamitani gets treated like a bloody pariah for his work. Oh, by the by, I don’t recall anyone being pissy about Jack in Mass Effect 2, who is basically topless:

"SHIRTS ARE FOR LOSEEEEEERS!!!!"

“SHIRTS ARE FOR LOSEEEEEERS!!!!”

And no one is pissy about Cortana:

"I concur!"

“I concur!”

And no one is pissy about Rikku:

1Rikku_whiteback_fix_psd_jpgcopy

 

And no one is pissy about Sophitia:

Sophitia

 

Or Ivy:

spel_soulcalibur4_ivy_isabella_valentine

Or Harley Quinn:

Harley-Quinn-harley-quinn-8060119-1024-768

 

And I can’t help but wonder…is it because these companies are big enough that other news sites don’t feel like attacking them for views? Is it because Mass Effect and Halo are American and also no one dares speak ill of Halo? Is Harley somehow better for being in a fetish uniform and being addicted to a sexually and violently and emotionally abusive relationship? Is Sophitia okay because outfit aside she’s a “good girl” and Rikku is a “goof”?

Seriously, I’m asking, because I don’t get it. Me personally? I’m not really bothered by any of the drawings, and as I pointed out before Kamitani has a history of exceedingly strong and positive female leads, and Dragon’s Crown hits both sides of the fence.

Can women be represented better in gaming? Of bloody course they can! And should they be? Of bloody course they should! But should we dump all over a legend for paying homage to three of the greatest artists of our day (Frazetta, Vallejo and Bell in case you forgot) and doing so with BOTH GENDERS?

No. No we shouldn’t. Now hush and enjoy the game.

Rant over, Xeawn, out.

 

 

 

 

 

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