So, Let’s Talk About the Xbox One *UPDATED BELOW*

"I'm watching you while you sleep......"

“I’m watching you while you sleep……”

I wasn’t going to do this first. I was going to talk about Starship Damrey and Dragon’s Crown and Freedom Wars and Valhalla Knights 3 and Chaos Code and pretty much just those things because not much else has happened in the world of gaming that I’m interested in at the moment, but, let’s talk Xbox One.

By now you all know just how…awful that reveal was. The PS4 reveal may have left many scratching their heads, but at least it was a system you could go “Eh, we’ll see” or “Eh, I’d probably buy one” or “Eh, not really for me, but cool stuff.”

Xbox One…Xbox One with it’s many, many, MANY barriers to anyone wanting to buy it. Shall we go down the list?

1) The system has to check in to the internet once every 24 hours, because apparently if you are a soldier serving overseas, live in a small town, or live in Alaska and have hideously expensive internet with ridiculously tiny download limits then Microsoft just doesn’t care about you.

2) The Kinect 2.0 is always on. Like, always. You can’t turn it off, even when it’s “off”, so imagine you have a high quality webcam with a high quality microphone always watching, listening, and broadcasting to someplace. So, the next time you fancy some naked 2 in the morning Halo or Dance Central, just remember that hackers are jerks and your grandma is on your Facebook page.

3) If you buy a used game, you have to pay some kind of premium to be able to actually play the game.

4) If you loan a friend a game, they have to pay a premium, possibly full price, to be able to play the game.

5) The games are on blu-ray discs, which can hold up to 50GB of data with companies looking to expand up to 128GB, and it is mandatory for you to install the entire disc (from then on all games are played without a disc) and then log it’s unique key into a Microsoft server to be able to play the games. Heh, and you thought the wait to play MGS4 was long…

6) The HDD, which is non removable, is 500GB. Assuming that most games, we’ll say they’ll be 25 GB just to be nice, maybe 30GB, that means you can have 16 games before you need to start deleting them or pony up for an external HDD. Let’s be real gamers, how many of us actually beat 16 games before we buy new ones?

7) Did I mention the 24 hour check in thing? Because that’s really stupid. The system won’t let you play anymore if you don’t check in.

"Hi Dave. I can tell that it's Dave because I memorized your DNA from your sweat."

“Hi Dave. I can tell that it’s Dave because I memorized your DNA from your sweat.”

So, what’s good about the system?

1) Hey bro, we heard you liked TV and Xbox, so we put a TV in your xbox, so you can TV while you xbox! Ok seriously, I A) don’t even watch TV that much, and B) don’t typically buy an Xbox so I can watch SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) The…triggers vibrate now? That’s…that’s cool I guess?

3) Call of Duty has a dog now? Yay? I mean…that worked out so well to endear me to Fable 2…..

4) The launch failed so hard that EA is now (after making fun of the Wii U for months) explicitly stating it’s going to make sports games (and presumably other games) for the Wii U again

5) It pissed off Japan.

Seriously though, the dog thing is kinda cool; I imagine in a war zone I might care more. But, I also already have a dog, so, there’s that. Plus, Call of Duty is on PS4, so, Playstation gets a dog and a system that wants to invade your privacy considerably less.

If I were a far more crass website, I’d make a joke about what Xbox One withholding gaming from you if you don’t make it happy all the time with internet and stuff reminds me of, but, if you’re imaginative you can sort it out for yourself. Honestly, I can vaguely see the school of thought that went into it; game developers constantly either rant that piracy or used game sales are murdering the industry (or maybe just stop charging $60 for a game that is either mediocre, terrible or only a few hours long with no real replay value), so I can see where for some…bizarrely ridiculous reason Microsoft thought this was a good idea.

"You can't play today, I have a headache."

“You can’t play today, I have a headache.”

I can see how they looked at Steam and thought they’d get a (considerably more gated and capitalist) piece of the pie, but…I mean…really? Seriously?

And I mean, an entire room full of people at Microsoft HQ were like “Yes, this is a great idea.”


Honestly the only positive I see out of this was pissing off Japan. No, really, I’m not even joking here. Nor am I being xenophobic. I get so sick and tired of every single Japanese game developer going “We never think about America; we develop for Japan first and foremost/only, and we feel that if we developed with America in mind it would hurt the product/severely hurt the product/dilute the experience. We develop for Japan with no plans for anyone else, because that is how we make a good/strong game.”

Don’t give me that look, they have all said it except for Daisuke Ishiwatari, Morii, Suda 51, Shinji Mikami and Keiji Inafune. There may be an exceedingly small handful that I missed, but no, they either say the above, or they blame poor sales on American gamers not understanding Japanese games, or on American developers ruining Japanese games, or on designing for the west for ruining Japanese games.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; a game stands on its own merits regardless of its nationality. If you hide behind “You’re from America and you just don’t get it” then you’re kinda punking out, I’m just saying. If a game is designed well, it will sell regardless of if you are from Japan, England, or freaking Samoa. No, not all well designed Japanese games sell in America, but, the vast majority of them are hideously under marketed and released in a quantity that no one can buy in the first bloody place. And, the ones that are marketed and made available? Yeah, they always sell well.

"I was gonna let you play me, but you probably wouldn't get me. I won't come out unless you buy a lot of copies of an unrelated game on an unrelated system. Also, the system I'm on didn't sell enough because it doesn't have enough games, so you can't have more games until you buy more of the system that has no games. Because Japan."

“I was gonna let you play me, but you probably wouldn’t get me. I won’t come out unless you buy a lot of copies of an unrelated game on an unrelated system. Also, the system I’m on didn’t sell enough because it doesn’t have enough games, so you can’t have more games until you buy more of the system that has no games. Because Japan.”

Okay, I’m done ranting. It was just really, really funny to hop onto Japanese forums and see how many gamers over there were all “They didn’t even think of Japan/didn’t design this for Japan/don’t seem to care about Japanese gamers” and I’m like “Okay, first and foremost even in America we think the system as is, is stupid beyond belief. Secondly? Hi Pot, I’m Kettle. You’re black.”

I’m just saying, I guarantee that when you’re working on Freedom Wars, Lords of Apocalypse, Playstation 4, Toriko, Rezel Cross and more, you aren’t going “Man, I really oughta think about bringing this to America/I wonder how I can enhance this experience so Americans will get into it!”

Unless you’re Keiji Inafune, who is creeping me out lately, or Suda 51 who pretty much just does what he wants to anyways. And we love him for it.

Xeawn, out.



So, there’s a rumor being fielded by a “trusted reporting source” apparently that Microsoft is looking into waving fees for used/borrowed games, with the catch that you have to always be online so the system can check the encryption key at random intervals. So, which do you prefer, having to pay for the game twice or having to always be online lest you suddenly be kicked off your system?

Me? I’m just gonna stick to systems that let me play what I bloody pay for.


6 comments on “So, Let’s Talk About the Xbox One *UPDATED BELOW*

  1. A gamer at Ian’s Game Paradise brought up a good point as well. Assume you have more than one Xbox One in your household. This happens more often than you’d think with siblings and couples that are forced to buy more than one system because developers despise couch co-op.

    If your brother/sister/wifey/hubby/novia/novio wants to play a game you bought, they have to do it on your system or else buy it all over again if they want it on theirs or want to continue their progress. So, Microsoft finally found a way to force families and couples to buy the same game multiple times even if it’s single player…

    Also, the fee for using someone else’s disc will be full retail. But hey, the triggers vibrate!

    Also, I’ll be discussing the aforementioned cool new game reveals later today.

  2. Gotta say i agree with pretty much everything you.ve said here…Also GIVE ME MORE TALES!!!!

    Seriously i don’t even HAVE a VITA but like with persona 4 Golden i would TOTALLY order that tales game day 1.

    And i actually appreciate that japan makes games for japan i only wish they’re bring them over here more often.

    I mean if japan started making games for the west i don’t even want to think of the levels of horribad we’d get…I play their games alot because i like them more for what they are.

    And yeah we love Suda for doing what he does and i DO feel japanese companies do it a BIT more then some if not alot of western ones where a fair number are all about global market.

    I say make what you wnat and are passonate about and the gamers will eat it up don;t obsess over profit margins so much..Also SE STOP WITH THE MOBILES…

    Ahem sorry didn;t mean to rant but yeah i think the Xbox one will ONLY succeed because of “brogamers” who want their sports and FPS’s.

    • I completely agree. Humorously enough, the non-gaming media, sports fans and shooter fans are pretty much the only ones expressing excitement about the X1.

      But, yes, I wouldn’t want Japanese game developers to start developing for Americans; I do agree that it would dilute what makes their titles fun to play. With that said, many is the Japanese game that drastically needs to step out of the 80’s and 90’s in terms of engine design. The Tales franchise seems to be one of the few that actually updates its system, while so many release finished products that would be laughable even in the PS1 era.

      I scratch my head and wonder at how some of these games get released in the state they’re in, but as many developers such as Keiji Inafune and Suda 51 as well as Shinji Mikami and Akira Yamaoka have said, their industry is stuck developing the same as it has for the past twenty plus years.

      I think the biggest thing that torques me is the excuses. The moment a game fails they hide behind the excuse of “Oh, Americans just don’t understand us! See, we shouldn’t bring games over because you just don’t get it!”

      Yet, as I pointed out in another article, we’re actually buying Japanese games in numbers just as large as we always have, in many cases more so. The problem is that gamers in Japan are buying domestic games in considerably smaller numbers due to the mobile market, but the pride of the studios has them blaming the west rather than calling their own people out.

      Humorously enough, Japanese games brought to the west generally sell considerably better the less westernized they make them. There are some cases, such as every game that Cavia touches, that I am SEVERELY thankful that a localization team was like “Yeah…no…” and cleaned them up before bringing them over, but by the same token I’m eternally thankful when a game like Persona 4 challenges me to pick an ingredient or method to cook a Japanese dish I’ve never heard of or when I can go to places in Yakuza that I’ve actually visited and be like “Dude, I know that place!” or play its Japanese game show that asks me questions I know nothing about. Also, run on sentence.

      It’s the authentic flavor that makes them so great, I could just do without the double standards and ego. Also yes, more Tales, all of the Tales, every last one of them. I’m still waiting on Phantasy Star Portable 2 Infinity (yeah, that’s never gonna happen), One Piece: Romance Dawn (ditto), Rezel Cross (yup), Valkyria Chronicles 3 (at least there’s a fan translation), Lord of Apocalypse (I’m thankful that I at least know enough Japanese to get by) and many, many more.

      But, as long as I get Gods Eater 2 I guess I’ll be sated.

      • Can;t really reply to it all. But yeah basically the XboxOne is for Bro gamers…. Other then that man yeah i for one buy as many JRPGs as i can….I have a RIDICULOUS backlog TBH…And growing… Also still not sure if i even wnat to cancel mys econd xiallia CE pre order…Just to rare and worth it..And no i don;t plan to sell it i;ll either just give it away or keep it.

  3. Heh, yeah, that’s the problem with being a writer; my replies tend to be about as long as my articles!

    I’m excited for Xillia even though I’m off put by their interpretation of a “strong female lead” being to make her really drab and monotonous. I hope there’s more to her than the trailers have shown, and hope we get the Vita ports of Hearts and Innocence in America. Shame that Namco Bandai hates digital releases so much; that’d be a great way to do it, and the translation teams have already stated they’d gladly give Namco Bandai their work for free.

    • Yeah alot of game companies are making dumb choices…. And NP at all man i write alot of long things myself…Just hard to reply to every point in something THAT large LOL.

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