What’s up peoples? Xeawn here to chat atcha all about the other side of my geekiness. I talk video games, anime and Jesus (yup, I’m a Geek for God!!!) pretty dang often around here, but lurking in the shadows is another passion of mine:
Wait, no, I meant to say comic books. I friggin’ love comic books, though I actually stopped reading the majority of the ones that I liked after One More Day and whichever one of the five reboot crisises happened before the new 52. A lot of characters I liked are either dead or warped beyond recognition, so I don’t really read comic books like I used to.
The other problem is that I love the underdog characters that either get killed or no one cares about writing their own cool series for. As a result, the people I like to see are so rarely in the comics that it doesn’t really justify me buying the ones they cameo in. Fortunately, video games and animated series write most characters better than comics do, so, there’s that.
Injustice and a Facebook conversation got me thinking, what would my dream super hero movies look like? Who would be in them? Who would they face? What would they be about? So, let’s take a look in my brain and see what’s goin’ on eh?
1) The Mark of Liberty: Birth of the Family
Everyone is always going on about “death of the family” this and “death in the family” that, what about something…well…severely darker but still a lot nicer than that?
I always wonder why everyone feels such a strong need to stay within the bounds of the established canon, only straying just so in various areas. Film makers and animators seem obsessed with retelling the same stories with slight twists, which, don’t get me wrong Dark Knight Returns was awesome and so was Under the Red Hood (and pretty much every other DC Animated movie), but my favorite animated hero universe was the Young Avengers movie starring everyone’s kids. Also, mega run on sentence because I have a headache.
So, I would fancy the chance to step into an elseworlds and establish a new trilogy of movies. I would probably do it in an animated format, though DC having enough faith in the plot to let me do it live action would be interesting too. Still, I think certain moods and tones are easier to set with high quality Mask of the Phantasm style art.
In this universe, Bruce Wayne is dead. He’s freaking dead. He’s not in hiding, he’s not training someone new, he’s not undercover, he’s bloody dead. I’m sorry Bruce, I love you, but can we please maybe have the jubblies to move beyond our beloved big three?
So yeah, Bruce died. And guess what? Joker didn’t kill him! Nope. Someone else did. But, no one knows what happened on the night he died.
An out of control Bruce reeling from the death of Damian Wayne is comforted by a young Cassandra Caine who struggles to do the Tim factor (i.e. “Batman needs a Robin or he goes cray cray and tries to get himself killed all the time) and keep him going. Well, I say young, but let’s say she’s in her late teens? And, Bruce is still out there, but he mellows a bit between training her as well as an emotionally abandoned Carrie Kelly, the product of an apathetic and defunct Gotham, which is a product of all the ridiculous wars that keep happening there, at least keep him moderately sane and focused.
To everyone’s surprise, Jason Todd calms the crap down. A bit. I mean, he’s Jason, so he still has to go around waxing poetic while he stabs random criminals, but, he’s calm for Jason. And, it seems like maybe things are going to sorta kinda work out.
Except they don’t. They don’t, in a big way. Now as for the villain responsible for all of this, I’d like to say that maybe Talia and her crazy league of “We hate Batman for no real reason beyond Talia is bi-polar and schizophrenic” villains manage to begin targeted attacks over a period of time that wear the big bad bat down. But, he keeps pushing himself, because of a rumor, because of something whispered in the shadows. There’s another killer out there, and his style rings a little too close to home for the bats.
So, Batman is on a mission with Jason and Cassandra and Carrie, i.e. The Batman’s “daughters” (little nod to poor crazy Dick Grayson from All Star batman there) are left on their own for the first time to be the grown ups in charge of defending Gotham. Along the way, maybe they ran into a moderately small time Duela Dent, who is a little schizophrenic herself and can’t stop alternating between saying she’s Harvey’s daughter and that she’s Joker and Harley’s, has a few run ins with them.
Overall they decide she’s not all that bad and she genuinely wants to be good in spite of her issues. Not long after they end up stopping someone big on their own, we’ll say Clayface, and they go home all excited, they find a forlorn Jason holding Batman’s bloody cowl.
Fast forward a few years. Cassandra is the new Bat…Woman I guess, as there is no Batman, because he died. They all sorta collectively decide that no one ought to try to be the Batman, that it would somehow sully or erase his memory. In truth, none of them quite feel good enough to fill Bruce’s shoes.
So Cassandra is The Bat Woman at say age 25 ish. Carrie has graduated from her Robin status, and initially I was going to say she’s Red Robin but then I’d have to come up with what Tim and his crazy self is doing, but, ya know what? It’s elseworlds; there is no Tim Drake. He’s an accountant or something. What? I liked him till he went crazy and started kicking ex girlfriends in the stomach and stuff.
So Carrie is Red Robin and is sort of the Nightwing to Cassandra’s Batman, except they’re partners and don’t hate each other. Duela joins up as well, with Cassandra initially saying she’s unfit to be with them and Carrie stating “I dunno Cass, we’re all a little crazy, aren’t we?”
And in the background, Jason Todd is the older, experienced guy who trains them and keeps them focused and on task. As Jason is an assassin and Cassandra and the others are all either trained assassins or have no problem killing anyone, this team is willing to go the length that Bruce wouldn’t. But, in a bit of an odd twist, Jason has lost his appetite for needless bloodshed, so, that can play into the story as well.
In retrospect, Carrie’s name is lame; going from Robin to Red Robin just…doesn’t have very much impact. So, instead she’s…I dunno…Crimson Shade? I have a migraine, don’t judge me.
So anyways, a lot of the villains don’t have a reason to be a villain without Bruce to be honest. Joker doesn’t anyways. So let’s make up some new villains for them to tangle with, and bring out some older ones like Killer Moth that we haven’t seen in a while. But, everyone knows their main goal and function beyond keeping Gotham safe is finding Bruce’s killer and bringing them to justice.
So, whodunit? Jason doesn’t know; he was incapacitated outside of the ancient temple they were fighting in. He arrived in time to see Bruce impaled and the assassin flee like lightning. So save the space of writing an entire script here (especially because I’d much rather DC hire me than take this and run with it), the villain in a (not so shocking) twist is Damian himself!
The twist here is little Miss Talia “I have no feelings and your dead to me” Al Ghul actually couldn’t live with herself after ordering her flesh and blood to be murdered. What happened to clone Damian? I dunno. Bruce killed him. Yes, there we go. Bruce killed him. The first time Bruce has willingly taken a villain’s life. It was then that he realized he was going to far, but simultaneously already had. It was then that he spent more time focusing on training Cassandra and Carrie and being a bit more of a family guy, until the rumors dragged him out to the Himalayas.
So Talia couldn’t stand it and tried to resurrect Damian in the Lazarus Pits, which didn’t work. She tried multiple times in addition to everything ranging from science to the unholy, and it didn’t work. Weeping, she left Damian’s body in the pit and went on about her business.
And then Damian rose, all crazy and full of wrath. He goes on a spree, killing…I don’t know…Joker is the first name that comes to mind. I’m purposely pantsing these (see: flying by the seat of my) because sometimes that’s more fun than sitting down and putting a ton of thought into it. So, Damian is killing…villains? And assassins? And he puts Talia in the hospital but doesn’t kill her because altruistically he’s somehow better than her (and “mother is God in the eyes of her child”…Silent Hill…), and Bruce sees him and knows that he’s got to end Damian’s suffering, that it’s gone too far. Only Damian is out of control and kills Bruce in their fight.
Cassandra and company feel awful, because part of them believed that Jason had snapped and done it, to which Jason shrugs and is like “Eh, there was a time. But, ya know, we don’t all want to kill our fathers and marry our mothers in the end.”
Ha. Greek philosopher humor.
So they team up to go after Damian and it’s going down! They’re fighting the best of the best, plus he’s all suped up on drugs and junk. It’s the battle of the century going all over the dang place from the temple to the mountains to a bridge to a free fall to a canyon to a forest and so on.
When all is said and done, the battle is won by chance. Over the course of the fight we’ll say Damian gets impaled on something. Only the victory feels hollow. Cassandra isn’t convinced that it’s over, and she’s not entirely convinced it was Damian that did Bruce in.
After all, how could he spare Talia who shunned him, and not Bruce who loved him?
The girls decide to give him a proper burial because “He is part of the family after all.” and send their brother off Viking style (I know, I just said proper burial…) so no one can try to resurrect him again. Their portion ends scattering Damian’s ashes and visiting Bruce’s grave, which is by Alfred’s (BECAUSE ALFRED IS AS OLD AS A FREAKING VAMPIRE, COME ON!!! I LOVE HIM, BUT COME ON!!!!!) and also Thomas and Martha’s and Damian’s, and say the family can finally rest and that Gotham will continue to stay safe so long as they’re around.
And then the credits roll.
And then we see in the shadows a womanly form talking to someone on a cell phone discussing how the plan has been a success thus far in spite of a few kinks here and there. They go on to say that the next part is being put into action, and soon it will be time to return the king to the field.
Cue final shot of the lazarus pit with silence for a while, and then a hand bursting out of it. Lightning strikes, and on the cave wall we see the shadow of The Batman…
So, what do you think? Would you go see this movie (obviously with considerably more fleshed out and filled in) or do you think I’m full of Turnips and Bunsen Sauce?! Also, is Bunsen sauce a real thing? Because I pretty much just made that up. Comment below and share your dream super hero movies too! I was going to talk about a few others, but, this got long winded. So, another time.