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Shin Unozawa, Can You Please Step Down and let Katsuhiro Harada Lead?

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“Rise my apprentice, RISE!!!”

Please? I mean, don’t get me wrong, man’s gotta eat and all, but COME ON!!! In an extremely small period of time, Mr. Harada has successfully secured six DLC characters for Tekken Tag Tournament 2 to be free despite all of Namco Bandai fighting him tooth and nail to charge, he was pretty much the single driving force behind getting Project x Zone to release in America (I didn’t hear you saying anything Yoshinori Ono, Kenzo Tsujimoto and Hajime Satomi!), and in light of poor Hideo Baba not getting to release the Tales Of games that he wants in America and us not getting One Piece 2 for the Vita over here despite it already being translated on a platform that is pretty much the exact same code…I just…

Mr. Unozawa, what are you doing?!?! What did we do?!?! Are you mad at us? I think you’re mad at us. I’m a really great baker, I could bake you a cake! Well, I mostly do pies, but I could do cake! Did someone in the US say something rude? Did one of us spill something on your suit or forget to pick up after our puppy near your yard? I just, I’m just, I…I’m like…I mean…COME ON!!!

Hideo Baba has already stated that there are a lot of Tales games he’d like to bring over but that Namco Bandai won’t give him the go ahead to release, and I really don’t understand it. In the age of digital distribution, it’s already been shown that games like Dokuro and New Little King’s Story as well as Ragnarok Tactics and (though I don’t approve of it) Corpse Party can find a market where they otherwise might not. While I’m not the biggest fan of digital downloads as a collector, as a gamer, if I get the bloody game in English I DON’T REALLY CARE!!!

"BUT I WUB YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!"

“BUT I WUB YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!”

Between Gamefaqs and Siliconera there is a large number of people that are severely upset about One Piece not releasing for the Vita, and we’ll probably never see Tales of Innocence R or Tales of Hearts R.

You can pretty much make a chart of game companies. As it stands now, I ignore almost every import article I see because the moment I either read the synopsis of the game or the name of the company making it (or the platform it’s designed for) I can sort out whether or not it’ll come over here. What’s more, having been at this for so many years I can take one look at a game and tell who made it, which makes it easy to tell if we’ll get the game or not. It goes a little something like this:

Capcom

Will Release:

Street Fighter
Resident Evil
Lost Planet
A small handful of new IP’s that seem “western” a la Asura’s Wrath

Will Not Release:

Anything else. On rare occasions something unique that is not doing well in Japan such as Ghost Trick or Phoenix Wright might make it overseas, but the moment sales pick up in Japan we’ll stop seeing the games.

Namco Bandai

Will Release:

Naruto
One out of every five console Tales Of games

Will Not Release:

Anything else. On rare occasions they will release an obscure adventure game…but it’s never the game we asked for.

Square Enix

Will Release:

Console Final Fantasy Titles
iOS reverse ATM machines…
DS RPG’s that have Final Fantasy in their name
Most Dragon Quest Games

Will Not Release:

Anything on the PSP or the Vita
Most Dragon Quest Spinoffs (unless there’s a superior version they can give Japan while America and Europe get the one with only half the content)
Anything that does not have Final Fantasy in the name that isn’t an iOS monster that subsists on money and nostalgia

Nippon Ichi

Will Release:

Pretty much everything that doesn’t depict explicit sexuality with little girls

Will Not Release:

Um…I dunno…man eating sharks in your bathtub?

Gust and or Compile Heart

Will Release:

Whatever they darn well please

Will Not Release:

See column A

You know what? I don’t even care anymore…*sniff sniff*
You know what? I don't even care anymore...*sniff sniff*

You know what? I don’t even care anymore…*sniff sniff*

Did I miss anyone? If so let me know in the comments below! Peace!

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